Tuesday, January 29, 2013

these feet

Yesterday I had a moment.

It isn't too often that I find myself in a quiet house with almost nothing going on around me.

The big girls were at school, Kherington was invited over to her big cousin's house, so it was just Crew and I at home. My little Crewie is, well....a handful! At 20 months old, he is busy busy busy and always up to something. So any sort of down-time with him when he is awake is rare. Because he is always. on. the. go. (wink)

We had a little time to kill before his nap, so not really thinking he'd stay there, I pulled him up on my lap, and just sat on the couch with him and hoped he'd watch a little Curious George with me.

We stayed in this exact position for a half hour.

For anyone with an almost 2 year old, you would know that this a LONG time for a toddler of this age! To sit still without moving for 30 minutes? That is very rare for my Crew!

As we sat, I cuddled his warm little body close to me. I snuggled into his clean hair from just getting out of the bath. I watched him cross and uncross his chubby little feet as he watched George on TV.

And I also realized that it wasn't George that he was content with, but ME.

My full attention. My time. My love.

As I held him, I realized how I do not do this often enough. As the youngest of 4, by default, Crew spends much of his being carted around in the car, dropping off and picking up his sisters from school and lessons, running errands with mama. He doesn't get the same down-time at home that his sisters had, especially the older girls.

It made me so guilty and so sad for him. Being a mama is hard. And all I want is for my babies to know how much I love them. And how everything I do is for them. I cuddled him like crazy and felt so very lucky for this quiet, uninterrupted time with my son.

It is so hard to believe that there was a time that this little dude wasn't a part of our family. Because now...we simply couldn't live without him. While we often joke about how much of a handful he is, the truth of the matter is...he has every single person in this family wrapped around his little fingers. We all live for his giggles, his hugs, his slobbery kisses. We all laugh when he does something funny, and we all jump to help him when we think he's been hurt. We love our boy.

How grateful I am for those quiet moments with my son. To hold his warm body and kiss his chubby feet. To not worry about the messes that needed to be cleaned, or the phone calls that needed to be made. To just be in the moment with him and put everything else on hold.

This was a reminder for me as a mother. Not just for Crew, but for all my precious children. To take the time to spend a few quiet moments with each of them. Whenever I can. To just sit and enjoy the moment and put everything else in the world aside and to focus on THEM. It is hard for me to believe that I have already been doing this mothering thing for more than 8 years. And it is starting to hit me how my time with little ones at home will all too quickly come to an end. And it was these little feet that reminded me of all these things yesterday. These chubby feet reminded me to slow down...just a little. To enjoy these moments at home a little bit more. And most importantly, to LOVE more.

'Cause we all need love, right?


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